The Heart Bray Kid
by GateKeeperSyn
Summary: In the sequel to the humor fic "World Domination Begins Backstage," Bray Wyatt meets Shawn Michaels, as well as a few others, and tries to convert him to join his family. This fic is humor and is not to be taken seriously in any way, shape, or form. I obviously do not own these people/characters. I hope you enjoy it!


Bray Wyatt despised being humiliated. The backstage embarrassment from the previous night was unacceptable. Tonight, he would be prepared, and he would show them all who the true leader of the WWE- no, of the _world_ was.

Shawn Michaels was in the arena tonight and Bray knew if he could get through to him, everyone else would follow. Like the Rock and Stone Cold, Shawn was a false idol. He had to make him understand why he was in fact the superior one.

"You!" Bray called.

Shawn spun around and faced him. He looked over his shoulder, then back at Bray. "Me?" He asked.

"You, the so-called Heartbreak Kid! I am Bray Wyatt, the Eater of Worlds, a God amongst men."

Shawn flashed him a winning smile. "Really? What an honor. What can I do for you?"

Bray was pleasantly surprised. Maybe Shawn understood who he was and why he was so important to the world. Finally, an intelligent wrestler!

"I want to explain why I am the true ruler of this world, and all others."

Shawn nodded. "Uh-huh. Fascinating. Go on!"

Bray was delighted. "You see, I was once just a mere boy-"

"Hey Shawn," Triple H greeted his friend. "What the hell are you doing talking to this freak?"

"Shhh!" Shawn said. "I'm trying to hear what he has to say. Have some respect!"

Triple H raised an eyebrow, but fell silent. The COO was now listening to him, too! Bray had finally gained an audience with powerful people.

"I am meant to lead this world," Bray began, "starting with the wrestling industry."

"Right. Logically," Shawn said. "I mean, that beard alone is enough to impress me!"

"Where you both are worshipped by sheep, I am-"

"Followed around by a man who dresses as one?" Triple H suggested.

"Hunter, be quiet," Shawn scolded him. "The man is trying to convert us. The least we can do is listen. Besides, I think Rowan's a lamb."

"He's a sheep, Shawn."

"Lamb! I mean, clearly! Don't you know your farm animals, Hunter?"

Bray cleared his throat and said, "As I was saying, I-"

The Uso twins bounced by, breaking his concentration. They stopped, shook Shawn's hand, and waved to Triple H before bouncing away.

"They didn't even say hello to him," Triple H pointed out.

"How disrespectful!" Shawn said. "Don't they understand?" He began singing, "He's got the whole world in his hands…"

"That's right," Bray said. "I do." He joined in the singing and barely noticed Triple H glaring at Shawn.

Wade Barrett stood before him suddenly. He scowled. "Bray Wyatt! I'm afraid I've got some Bad News. You are in need of medication. Since you've failed to take it, you now seem to be suffering under the delusion that you can sing. You'll soon become ambitious and see you can't take over the world from inside the WWE. You'll audition for American Idol instead. There, you'll be humiliated on television once again for all the world to see! Even Paula Abdul couldn't come up with a nice thing to say about you, let alone whoever judges that show now. You'll realize your life is pathetic, and you'll waste away, a tragic bearded redneck whose own cousins won't find him attractive." He smiled and walked away.

"That was rude," Shawn observed.

"Yet factual," Triple H said.

"He shall be the next to fall!" Bray declared.

"Finish with one meal before the next, Bray. You already ditched the Shield halfway through because Cena was tastier. Barrett has to wait until you've finished your Fruity Pebbles," Triple H informed him.

Bray frowned. He might have spoken, but El Torito came running by. He kicked Bray in the balls as Los Matadores joined them.

"Ole!" They shouted. The three ran off as Bray fell to the floor.

Hornswoggle came running behind them shouting incoherently. He paused when he saw Bray and kicked him in the head before chasing after them.

"I feel you," Drew McIntyre told Bray. "Gotta protect the kids!"

With the members of 3MB standing over him laughing, Bray got angry. He stood back up as they chased after Hornswoggle. Where were his followers? He needed them to center him.

Shawn offered him a hand and helped him regain his balance. "So, you were saying, Mr. Eater of Worlds, Sir?" He asked.

"You gentlemen would do well to follow the buzzards," Bray said.

"Where are they going, exactly?" Shawn asked. "Because I'm banned from a couple of places due to our activities with DX."

Triple H laughed. "Good times," he said.

"You were fools!" Bray informed them.

"Of course we were," Shawn said. "Shame on us!"

"We are ashamed," Triple H added.

"Join me, Boys! I will open your eyes!" Bray said.

"Are they closed?" Shawn asked. He looked at Triple H, holding them open with his fingers, and frantically asked, "Are they open now? I can't see you! Oh my God, are you John Cena?"

"Shawn, Shawn, calm down! I think that was a metaphor."

"What's a meta-for?"

"Don't worry."

"Enlighten me, Bray! I need it! I need to have my eyes opened!"

Bray smiled. "First, we start with Sister Abigail's Kiss," he said.

"You have a sister? Is she cute?"

Triple H shook his head.

"Come, Shawn. Allow me to help you find your way!" Bray said.

Shawn nodded. "Tell me more, and then we'll talk about this kiss."

"Sister Abigail taught me so much! She – believed – in me! She loved me, and she taught me to fight, to never accept that I am less than someone else, for I am the only God amongst men! The world is an evil place, and I must lead the way!"

Shawn nodded. He waited patiently. "Are you done?" Triple H asked.

"I am ready for you, Gentlemen! Join me, and follow the buzzards!" Bray said.

Shawn looked at Triple H, who nodded. He looked back at Bray and smiled. Then he raised his leg and before Bray saw it coming, he executed Sweet Chin Music.

Bray fell to the floor. Triple H and Shawn Michaels looked down at him and said, "And if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya!"

Harper and Rowan appeared and stared at the scene in horror. Shawn and Triple H exchanged a glance then in unison, Shawn superkicked Rowan and Triple H pedigreed Harper. Looking down upon them, they did matching crotch chops and proclaimed, "Suck it!"


End file.
